I’m Zuadrif
Hello, I'm Zuadrif.
I'm supposed to have been dead — i shot myself, and died —, but in an alternative universe, i survived and have become addicted to wanking and sex, and the occasional wanking and sex. Oh la.
And under a moniker, i write anonymously on blogspot and under the real name, i write nonsensical stuff at Firdauz takes 5.
Firdauz takes 5- Curiosity almost killed this cat August 28, 2010 Firdauz takes 5
Tag Archives: i’m almost funny
Horny at the workplace
Lately, i’ve been wondering whether it is natural to feel slightly horny when in actual reality, you’re ‘busy focusing’ on something else. Say, in my case, doing a digital artwork. In my case, ‘busy’ means i still have the time … Continue reading
Abang macho pipi tembam tu cakap
“Alamak bukanlah ibu kandung Aladdin.” Which reminds me of these two orang gila. They always have nice lame jokes. And those racist jokes, they are the best.
Saying the fantastic things your girlfriends want to hear.
“You ade affair kan?” Tanya Si Perempuan yang gelisah perihal boiprennya yang sedikit lambat menjawab pesanan-segera-peringkat-nasional (MSN). “Memang, perempuan tu dah mengandung pun.” Kata Si Lelaki yang hebat.
Hakikatnya, tangan siapa sebenarnya?
“Nah,” sambil menghulur, “ambik bantal keras ni. Mesti you pernah masturbate guna bantal ni kan?” Berpusing mengalih di atas katil, “Aah, memang pernah pun. Kesian you boleh guna tangan je.” Kata si perempuan, mengejek si lelaki. “Tak lah. I boleh … Continue reading
Kerepek
“You pergilah!” marah dia, “you pergilah kat perempuan mata bulat tu. Macam mata ikan. You suka kan.” What? I didn’t do anything. And the ‘mata ikan‘ girl, she’s like what? A boring chapter of my life? But, my girlfriend, she … Continue reading
Is arrogance necessary?
I’m of the opinion that being arrogant and declaring my pride is of an essential function to being Firdy. It is not just about promoting myself above the people who choose to lose to my fabricated lies of nonexistent overachievement, … Continue reading
Pictures i stole from the net
Puasa separuh hari. Makan banyak, gemuk macam Jestina. Sober. Drunk, obviously. Beyond drunk, obviously. Errrr….. probably not even me. Someone who looks like me, i guess.
Dancing fail
When no one’s around, i dance. Although yeah, awfully wrong. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Dancing in the office Erotic dancing in my room
Firdy teaches you Japanese
My girlfriend (yeah, i have a girlfriend, hihi) went to Japan and did her degree under the sponsorship of the Japanese Government. That was some years ago. Today, she’s a spy for their secret intelligence. So one day she bought … Continue reading
Posted in Twaddle
Tagged bodoh-la, exaggerated, half-truth, i'm almost funny, learn japanese, video
Leave a comment
Halal Friends
It shocked me when it arrived. Micheal Jackson, i thought, must have inspired one of these people. I had never seen it being ordered before. “Why there’s chicken?” i asked and the thought of it was chaotic. Horny Bin Abdullah … Continue reading
Today,
I cut my finger and wrapped it with a crocodile. I didn’t claim insurance, i didn’t take medical leave, because i’m strong like Hercules. Not like you, sissy readers of mine.
After late-night shower,
while getting ready for late-night sex, i sang quietly, but Anis had thought that i was talking to her; “What did you say baby?” “Nothing, i was singing.” “Lagu apa you nyanyi?” I sang, “Selawat dan salam, untuk Rasul junjungan, … Continue reading