I’m Zuadrif
Hello, I'm Zuadrif.
I'm supposed to have been dead — i shot myself, and died —, but in an alternative universe, i survived and have become addicted to wanking and sex, and the occasional wanking and sex. Oh la.
And under a moniker, i write anonymously on blogspot and under the real name, i write nonsensical stuff at Firdauz takes 5.
Firdauz takes 5- something just died December 5, 2010 Firdauz takes 5
Category Archives: Anecdote
The truth is,
deep inside my heart, if you dive deep enough, there’s a tiny silly part of me who wants to be single again. To be happy in the strangest ways, and miserable again. I can be that dumb sometimes. And secretly, … Continue reading
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Saying the fantastic things your girlfriends want to hear.
“You ade affair kan?” Tanya Si Perempuan yang gelisah perihal boiprennya yang sedikit lambat menjawab pesanan-segera-peringkat-nasional (MSN). “Memang, perempuan tu dah mengandung pun.” Kata Si Lelaki yang hebat.
Emails #2
In a work email, i wrote a short fiction in English. This is the rendition, in Bahasa. Ketika umur masih kecil angkanya, telah dikhabarkan pada saya oleh seorang gynecologist bahawa tempatnya yang saya lawati tersebut, bukanlah tempat yang betul untuk … Continue reading
Hakikatnya, tangan siapa sebenarnya?
“Nah,” sambil menghulur, “ambik bantal keras ni. Mesti you pernah masturbate guna bantal ni kan?” Berpusing mengalih di atas katil, “Aah, memang pernah pun. Kesian you boleh guna tangan je.” Kata si perempuan, mengejek si lelaki. “Tak lah. I boleh … Continue reading
Internships
While showing her the source file, i had asked Veen Dee, “Do you know what a smart object is?” “No, tell me about it” “Well, in photoshop, a smart object is one of the few things smart people like me … Continue reading
Life begins at Firdauz takes 5.
The first writing i’ve ever written on Firdauz takes 5 goes like this; I am Firdauz. My life is a tragicomedy, a dangerous brew of turmoil and violent conflict. Each laughter causes another tear. Each love, comes with a rejection. … Continue reading
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Is arrogance necessary?
I’m of the opinion that being arrogant and declaring my pride is of an essential function to being Firdy. It is not just about promoting myself above the people who choose to lose to my fabricated lies of nonexistent overachievement, … Continue reading
Elevator again
People like to talk to me in the elevators, even when my ears are plugged with artistic composition from the demented people who wish to die — they wish to no longer live in this world. I think so. But … Continue reading
In the Mood for Love,
was the movie i watched with my loved one. Ikan Siakap masak 3 Rasa was the simple dinner we cooked afterward, eaten with brown rice.
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Halal Friends
It shocked me when it arrived. Micheal Jackson, i thought, must have inspired one of these people. I had never seen it being ordered before. “Why there’s chicken?” i asked and the thought of it was chaotic. Horny Bin Abdullah … Continue reading
Negaraku
The access card didn’t work. I slapped it again against the stubborn device that was happy to reject my card each time — and was smaller than my palm — about three-four times this time, and each time i had … Continue reading
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After late-night shower,
while getting ready for late-night sex, i sang quietly, but Anis had thought that i was talking to her; “What did you say baby?” “Nothing, i was singing.” “Lagu apa you nyanyi?” I sang, “Selawat dan salam, untuk Rasul junjungan, … Continue reading
I see.
Teks masuk; “Baby, Tuhan kirimlah aku, kekasih yang baik hati, yang mencintai aku apa adanya.” Lelaki-yang-selalu-curang-tapi-baik-hati membaca, cuba memahami, dan membalas, “Kekasih you jahat eh? =p” Teks masuk; “Bodoh la. I used to like that song, masa tu I takda … Continue reading